High Standards Are a Form of Respect

I believe people are capable of far more than they currently demonstrate. I hold that belief seriously — which means I push. I set a high bar and I expect people to rise to it, because mediocrity left unchallenged reliably produces more mediocrity. Lowering the bar to keep everyone comfortable isn't kindness. It's a quiet vote of no confidence.

So I've made my peace with the instinct. What I'm still learning is the way I push.

The thing I've had to own

People who work with me will tell you I'm committed, responsible, honest and direct. They'll also tell you I can be too much — too direct, too frank, too demanding. Both things are true. My drive for results can outrun the patience it takes to bring people with me rather than simply driving them forward.

I don't think high standards are the wrong instinct. But one of my assessments put it plainly: forgets that not everyone is comfortable with direct communication. Reading that stung, because it was accurate. Setting the bar and communicating it well are two different skills, and I'm better at the first than the second. That's my work to do, not the team's.

Leading the team, not managing the mood

Here is where I won't bend: when it comes down to it, I choose the team over the individual. The responsibility I carry isn't to one person's comfort — it's to everyone counting on that team to deliver.

A leader who avoids hard conversations in order to be liked isn't leading. He's managing the mood. When something needs to be confronted, I'd rather do it directly and factually — connect to the person, name the reality plainly, and move forward — than let it fester because the conversation is uncomfortable. Knowing when to be firm and when to be gentle is a skill that comes with years I haven't lived yet. I'm collecting them.

Go first

The part I never compromise on is this: I don't ask anyone to do what I haven't done or wouldn't do myself. I commit fully, I dive in, and I do the work before I ask it of anyone else. You cannot demand ownership from a team while withholding your own.

High standards, held by someone who clearly carries the heaviest load himself, stop feeling like pressure and start feeling like an invitation. That's the kind of leader I'm trying to become — one people follow not because they have to, but because they can see where he's going and they want to be part of getting there.